Thursday, September 01, 2016

The Walk

He stormed out of the meeting room, collected his bag from his desk and headed home. Today was a bad day for him. And it had just gotten worse.

In the morning when he reached office, he couldn’t help notice her in pink dress. She was looking pretty and her smile was wider today. She was his college friend and he had a massive crush on her. But today, his smile vanished when she told him with those happily lit eyes - she was getting engaged! As she told him about Avi, he could feel his heart tear apart.

His afternoon was messed up when the bug he was trying to solve was escalated and had gotten his manager’s attention and pressure. In the evening he was discussing the solution to a new assignment at hand with his colleague Sahil, when they ended up in a not so professional verbal fight.

He stormed out of the office and started walking briskly to catch an auto back home. Why am I the one to suffer? Why does everything bad happen to only me? Lot of negative thoughts were flooding his mind. He saw a couple walk hand in hand on the road. “If only I had taken her hand and expressed my feelings before”, he thought. And why the hell didn’t Sahil understand his point? The bug was not my problem, I had taken up something extra and why has it backfired on me? Its just me. This happens only to me! Why me?!

Too many thoughts were flooding his mind not letting him think straight. Just like the too much honking all around. Why do people honk so much? Why is everyone so bad? Why is life so bad?

A group of college students were sitting casually as though they had all the time in the world. They were laughing and enjoying life. While the students took selfies, he thought, I don’t even have time for self!

An audi passed by. Wow! He noticed the man sitting inside in a blazer reading on his tablet as the driver took him home. This guy must have a lot of money. Will I ever be like him or will I forever be stuck in a job like now? But then, would this guy have enough time to enjoy life?!

Suddenly he got jolted by a man speeding on his two wheeler. He seems to be in a hurry to get back home. Great, I am not in a hurry today. I have decided to sneak some time off to calm my thoughts. Finally, a positive thought. Maybe the endorphins were acting now as he walked briskly.

As he crossed the park and heard a little kid hugging his friend and saying “sorry, lets be friends again” something struck him. He picked up his phone and called up Sahil. “Hey Sahil, I am sorry, just had a bad day. Lets discuss about your approach tomorrow.” He heard a smile in the “ok” from other end.

Suddenly he felt lighter. One of his problem was solved. It was that easy. The clouded mind was clearing itself to show a positive way ahead.

As he walked and observed so many different people busy in their own lives, he felt everyone is walking on a path they choose. When we face challenges we have to choose which path to walk? Should I take the gloomy path where I will crib all day or should I walk ahead by fighting all odds?

As one treads down the path of life, one realises the way is not all too rosy. Each has his share of problems. With every challenge one only grows stronger. You need to face and deal with every problem that comes your way. Take wise decisions, express yourself properly and in time and have the faith that “every bad phase will pass”.

His mind was no longer acting the devil by now. He knew which path to walk.

Beep. He had received a whatsapp message from her. “Hey where are you? We were supposed to go home together, I have so much to tell you about Avi!”. He switched off his phone. And continued walking with a smile. :)


Thursday, March 03, 2016

Thirty Five

Thirty five is a tetrahedral number. Thirty five is the highest number one can count on his fingers using base 6. Thirty five is the atomic number of bromine which is widely used in water purification. Thirty five is the minimum age of candidates for election to the United States Presidency. 

Given that average life expectancy in the world is 70 years (according to World Factbook), thirty five years is your mid life!
Thirty five years is a good time for self evaluation. Being in thirties is beautiful. You are more mature and have more understanding of life. Society-imposed goals are no longer a torture as you have passed that age: exam marks, admissions, job, career, marriage, children - whether you have ticked all these society-imposed goals or missed any, you reach a state where you no longer care. Its the time when you begin to live life for yourself.

In mid thirties, many people are often struck by what they call as "thrisis". Its like a mini mid life crisis. This is direct outcome of your self evaluation. Its a time when you gradually and drastically shift your focus in life. You would see many people take extreme decisions in their thirties that mark drastic changes in their careers, relationships and spiritual/religious beliefs.

As I turn thirty five, I too put on a review coat and evaluated myself. Tried expressing my review results in the form of a poem! :)

With colourful threads of love
I began weaving the fabric of my life
I wanted to weave a beautiful design
Which would withstand any knife...

I roped the threads around all I loved
There were so many, I couldn't settle for any less!
I thought I was living a big life
But it soon became an entangled mess!

I couldn't sort the entangled mess
I couldn't cut the thread
I couldn't see any beautiful design 
And the colours all looked dead

I stepped aside to check my work
And what I saw broke my heart! 
I was half way through
And there was no way I could restart!

While I was busy weaving my life's fabric
I didn't realise how it had changed it's course
Was this how I had imagined it would be?
As all I can feel is remorse...

Is my life really an entangled mess?
Or do I fail to see its beauty? 
Is there a way to take it forward
Without feeling regret, hurt or guilty?

Should I brood or start afresh?
Should I shrug and simply jive?
Is this something that everyone feels
When they turn thirty five?!!