Thursday, March 03, 2016

Thirty Five

Thirty five is a tetrahedral number. Thirty five is the highest number one can count on his fingers using base 6. Thirty five is the atomic number of bromine which is widely used in water purification. Thirty five is the minimum age of candidates for election to the United States Presidency. 

Given that average life expectancy in the world is 70 years (according to World Factbook), thirty five years is your mid life!
Thirty five years is a good time for self evaluation. Being in thirties is beautiful. You are more mature and have more understanding of life. Society-imposed goals are no longer a torture as you have passed that age: exam marks, admissions, job, career, marriage, children - whether you have ticked all these society-imposed goals or missed any, you reach a state where you no longer care. Its the time when you begin to live life for yourself.

In mid thirties, many people are often struck by what they call as "thrisis". Its like a mini mid life crisis. This is direct outcome of your self evaluation. Its a time when you gradually and drastically shift your focus in life. You would see many people take extreme decisions in their thirties that mark drastic changes in their careers, relationships and spiritual/religious beliefs.

As I turn thirty five, I too put on a review coat and evaluated myself. Tried expressing my review results in the form of a poem! :)

With colourful threads of love
I began weaving the fabric of my life
I wanted to weave a beautiful design
Which would withstand any knife...

I roped the threads around all I loved
There were so many, I couldn't settle for any less!
I thought I was living a big life
But it soon became an entangled mess!

I couldn't sort the entangled mess
I couldn't cut the thread
I couldn't see any beautiful design 
And the colours all looked dead

I stepped aside to check my work
And what I saw broke my heart! 
I was half way through
And there was no way I could restart!

While I was busy weaving my life's fabric
I didn't realise how it had changed it's course
Was this how I had imagined it would be?
As all I can feel is remorse...

Is my life really an entangled mess?
Or do I fail to see its beauty? 
Is there a way to take it forward
Without feeling regret, hurt or guilty?

Should I brood or start afresh?
Should I shrug and simply jive?
Is this something that everyone feels
When they turn thirty five?!!