Feeling Lonely

What do you mean by feeling lonely?
Is it that, physically there is no one around you? There is no one to talk to, or to share some nice moments with? Or is it that, there are many people around you and yet you feel all alone?

Consider someone who has an outgoing nature. He makes a lot of friends. So when he "feels lonely", he can call just any of his friends. So logically, he will never feel lonely.
Consider someone who is an introvert. He likes to be by himself. He doesnt like being much with people. So why will he feel lonely? He will be content with himself.

And yet people talk that they feel lonely. They say loneliness haunts! Some even think about an abstract-someone and then they miss him!!

Is'nt feeling lonely all in the head? I believe, no one in this world is lonely. There is no feeling such as loneliness. What you actually get is the "missing-someone-syndrome". And because you miss someone, be it your best friend, your parents, or just anyone, you feel his empty place beside you. The situation is like- the person is in your heart, in your mind, but physically away from you. And you simply miss him.

Do you agree with me? Can I conclude: Feeling lonely is nothing but missing someone?

Rules Don't Work On Me

Dont you think everyone around you observes you, scrutinizes you? Dont you ever get get irritated by the inferences people draw from your actions? Well one day I did get irritated...!!

If my mood changed from sad to bright today
By listening to a romantic tune,
Don’t conclude that I love music.
This music can bring back nostalgia.

If I plucked a rose on my way daily,
Don’t say I am fond of roses.
Sometimes they prick me.

If I dropped a few pennies on the hands of a needy
When I saw his hungry face and tired eyes,
Don’t think I have a soft heart.
I can be very mean at times.

If I prayed to God daily
And thanked him for all that he has given me...
Don’t believe that I am His worshipper.
I also blame him for all my failures.

If your first assumption about me was correct
And so was the second.
Don’t assume you would always be right about me.
Rules don’t work on me.

Expressing Emotions

I came across an article by Amita Shah, a practicing psychotherapist, which inpired me to write the essay below.

We all are filled with various emotions at any point of time. It is important that we understand these emotions and act upon them.

It is important that we express our feelings. The expression of feelings is a search for understanding. If we suppress them, then they are not acted upon, and hence it may sometimes lead to out of control blow-ups, depression or irritation.

However if we express our feelings outright, then it may hurt the receiver. If you just shout at your colleague, or get wild with your friend, or talk harshly with your elders, definitely they will be disappointed with you.

You should accept your feelings, process them and then express them. The expression of your feelings should be conscious.

If you suppress your feelings, you disconnect with the power to create what you want in life. If you dwell in your emotions, you block the power to get what you want in life. Hence you must process your emotions: Processing your emotions means you feel, manage and release them and get what you want in life.

In order to express yourself correctly, you need to understand and manage your emotions. You need to work on the following 3 "personal competencies":
1) Self-Awareness: Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions.
2) Self-Regulation: Managing one’s internal states, impulses, and resources.
3) Motivation: Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals.

Also, when you express your emotions, you should think about the receiver of your emotions. You need to work on "social competencies":
1) Empathy: Awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns.
2) Social Skills: Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others.