Expressing Emotions

I came across an article by Amita Shah, a practicing psychotherapist, which inpired me to write the essay below.

We all are filled with various emotions at any point of time. It is important that we understand these emotions and act upon them.

It is important that we express our feelings. The expression of feelings is a search for understanding. If we suppress them, then they are not acted upon, and hence it may sometimes lead to out of control blow-ups, depression or irritation.

However if we express our feelings outright, then it may hurt the receiver. If you just shout at your colleague, or get wild with your friend, or talk harshly with your elders, definitely they will be disappointed with you.

You should accept your feelings, process them and then express them. The expression of your feelings should be conscious.

If you suppress your feelings, you disconnect with the power to create what you want in life. If you dwell in your emotions, you block the power to get what you want in life. Hence you must process your emotions: Processing your emotions means you feel, manage and release them and get what you want in life.

In order to express yourself correctly, you need to understand and manage your emotions. You need to work on the following 3 "personal competencies":
1) Self-Awareness: Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions.
2) Self-Regulation: Managing one’s internal states, impulses, and resources.
3) Motivation: Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals.

Also, when you express your emotions, you should think about the receiver of your emotions. You need to work on "social competencies":
1) Empathy: Awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns.
2) Social Skills: Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others.